A Not-so-New Kind of Normal

I am not really sure there is any such thing as "normal", but I am sure of what my "normal" is, or rather, what it was.  My "normal", before Grayson, consisted of working on Mondays and Thursdays and being a stay at home mom the other days of the week.  I also watch a little boy, Henry, a couple days a week.  I have small group on Wednesday nights, Community Group on Tuesday nights and my hubby has bible study on Monday nights.  We usually try to go out together on Thursday or Fridays.  And we hang out with family and friends on the weekends.

That aspect of my life hasn't changed.  Which is weird to me because I feel as though my whole life has changed and that my daily life should reflect that.  Ultimately though, Grayson never came home, so I didn't change my daily routine.

I came home and my days continued on like "normal" on the outside, but so not normal on the inside.  And somehow, I wanted my outside life to reflect what my inside was feeling.  But how am I supposed to do that?  I don't want to cry all the time, though crying is good and necessary.  I don't want to give a false sense of "life goes on" because while life does go on, it doesn't go on in the same manner it once did.  I didn't want to be happy all the time because I do have times when I am overwhelming sad, but I wanted to be happy because I have so much joy-- even in my sorrow! Like this song by Darrell Evans...

Though the sorrow may last for the night,

His joy comes with the morning!

I have sorrow, but I also have joy and I wanted my "new kind of normal" to reflect that.  So what does that look like?

It's really simple actually.  Live like Christ.  That is all that I have to do.  Live like Christ.  Be willing and open to share my life with others.  Be willing to share my joy, my pain, my happiness and my sadness.  John 13:15 says "I have given you an example, that as I have done, so should you do."  And what did Jesus do?  1) He loved God, the Father and did His will, no matter the cost.  2) He loved people.  He did these two things while still doing life.  Jesus worked, he was a carpenter.  He ate dinner with His friends.  He took care of His family.  He laughed, He wept, He got angry, He even grieved.  He did all these things.  And He should be my example of how to move forward in my "new normal".

So for me, I keep going to work on Mondays and Thursdays and staying at home the other days of the week.  I keep watching Henry a couple days a week.  I keep doing my small group on Wednesday nights and my community group on Tuesdays.  Damon keeps going to his Bible study on Monday nights.  We keep going out on dates.   We keep hanging out with friends and family on the weekends.  We do all these things while 1) Loving God the Father and doing His will, no matter the cost and 2) Loving people.

If I do these things, I don't have to worry about my life looking normal... because it isn't normal... it never has been normal... and it never will be normal.  If my heart isn't normal, and believe me, a true Christian life is anything, but normal, my life will reflect that.  Even if my routine stays the exact same.

I feel God is doing something in my life and in my heart.  I feel Him...

Questions

Today, I woke up and I couldn't stop thinking about Grayson.  Sometimes, you just can't help but ask questions.  I would be lying to you if I told you that I hadn't questioned God in the last 5 weeks since Grayson's death.  You better believe that I have questioned Him several times.  Today was one of those days.  As we drove to church, I was overcome with questions of why.  Why couldn't I have made it until this week?  He would have been viable.  Why didn't I notice I was dilating?  Why did God choose Grayson to go home?  Why did it have to happen to me?  I often times just want to go back 6 weeks ago and stay there.

So today, as God so often does, He spoke right to me at church.  We were talking about the good life.  We talked about how the good life, as a believer, means that our sole joy is in the law of the Lord.  That, when we live in His will and in His plan, we have the good life.  If we really believe that, then God is good no matter the circumstances and that He loves me desperately.  Bang.  I mean, whack me over the head!  Like I said in the last post, I truly believe that God is good, but some days, I struggle with it.  Because, let's face it.  I am human and am putting my faith in a God that I can't physically see.  But just as I cross bridges and trust that they are going to hold me up, I also am going to go through this life, trusting that Jesus is walking right beside me...  And even carrying me when I am too weak to walk on my own.  I posted a quote awhile back and it is so true. Oswald Chambers says "Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand."

So the question remains, do I have faith?  Do I have confidence in God's character? Can I trust Him though I may not have a full understanding.  The answer, without a doubt, yes!  So like, Abraham did with Isaac, I will take everything that is precious and dear to me to the alter, ready to sacrifice it, if that is what God asks of me.  Because ultimately, God sees what I can't.  He sees beyond the here and now.  And thank God He does.  Thank you Jesus for never letting me go, even when I stray and question your perfect will.

We ended with the song "None But Jesus" by Hillsong.  And I sang these lyrics with everything in me because I know them to be true in my life.  I have seen it.

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

And I pray that I live out the chorus:

There is no one else for me

None but Jesus

Crucified to set me free

Now I live to bring Him praise

So instead of going back to six weeks ago and staying there, I move forward, ever so slowly, but trusting in Jesus, every step of the way... It's all I can do!

Jealous of Jesus

I have been thinking about what to write for a week or so now... How do you go from my last post to this... A post of pure excitement to one of heartbreak?

The answer?  With God's never-ending grace and mercy.  It isn't easy and God never promised me that it would be, but I share it with you because it is all I have of Grayson... and my hope is that his story gives you insight into just how great our God is... How loving and compassionate He is... and how He is carrying me, Grayson's mommy, at my weakest moments.  This is a long story, but I hope it is worth the time.  I know it is worth every minute of me writing it out.

One month ago, yesterday, on May 25, 2012, Grayson Scott Woodward was born, at almost 21 weeks gestation, into the arms of Jesus at 9:44am.  He weighed just 12.6ozs and was 10 1/2 inches long.  He was the most precious and handsome baby boy I have ever seen... and he looked just like me.  We got to spend several hours with him, loving on him.  I will be eternally grateful that God gave us that time, just to see his little face, his hands, his feet... all just precious.  And as we saw him, you better believe that we saw the face of God!  What an amazing testimony to our Savior!!  Collins also got to meet her little brother.  She stared at him and kept pointing at him saying "baby, baby".  My family got to be there and hold him as well.  I know that they will forever cherish those memories.  The day was very bittersweet, to say the least.  It was the hardest day of my life, but as I have said countless times, we are so heartbroken, but resting in the fact that Grayson is with Jesus.  He knew his days before we even knew he existed.  That, however, does not take away the pain.  My heart aches for memories that I will never have with my little boy, my belly aches to feel him kicking again, my arms ache to hold him.  Let me share with you Grayson's story from the very beginning.

This story starts back on January 24th when we found out we were pregnant!  We were so excited because it had taken us so long to get pregnant with Collins, but God granted us another baby after just 1 time of trying!!  We told our families pretty immediately, as well as, some of our closest friends.  We were so glad that God was giving us the chance to be parents of two!  I made Collins a "Shh... I have a secret... I am going to be a big sister" shirt!  We put it on her and had the family over to see who would notice!  It took most my family a little while to notice, but Auntie Kat noticed right away and said "SHUT UP!" Ha!  Everyone was so excited! We skyped Damon's family and they too shared in our excitement!

The next weeks, I was busy planning Collins' first birthday. It was so hard to keep the secret to myself with everyone coming over, but in my heart, I wanted to wait until after our first doctor's appointment.  That appointment came 2 days before Collins turned one.  We had flown Damon's mom in for the party, but were also excited for her to be a part of this appointment.  We didn't tell her we were pregnant until she got here.

When we went to have the ultrasound done, the tech got really quiet.  She asked me if we were sure that we had our dates right and I said "yes", I am sure.  And she said "Well, this isn't exactly what we expect to see at this point, but I will let Dr. Sellers tell you more".  Our hearts sunk.  We cried.  We just knew something was wrong.  Dr. Sellers told us that it appeared that I had a blighted ovum.  Which, basically meant that my body acted like it was pregnant, but there was no baby.  I had the sack and everything, but there wasn't a baby inside.  He told me that I would most likely miscarry in the next week, but wanted to set me up with another appointment in a week in case that hadn't happened and discuss our options then. I bawled.  I remember just saying "There is no baby... there is no baby..." And I cried and cried.  However, the next day, as I did some research, I began to get hope.  I started to think that my dates were off, but I didn't want to get too hopeful and be really disappointed.  The whole week, I had the song you learned in VBS "My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's NOTHING my God cannot do" stuck in my head.  I really believed that when we went back, we would hear a heartbeat!  And sure enough, on February 21, we heard the most beautiful heartbeat!  We cried tears of joy!  The tech kept saying "This doesn't happen... we don't ever see this happen..." and I kept saying "God is good.  He is soo good!"

Because of that scare, I cherished every moment of this pregnancy.  I loved loved loved talking to him and feeling him kick.  I just loved being pregnant.  God was definitely gracious to me by not allowing me to be so sick (like I was with Collins) so I could really enjoy being pregnant with Grayson.  I really believe it was a special gift.

On May 1, we found out that we were having a little boy!  We were so so excited to have a little brother in the family.  It is the first boy in our family since my brother, Landon.  And Damon is the only boy with 3 sisters and 2 step-sisters, so everyone was ready to have a little boy running around again!  And I was excited to finally pick a name and decorate his nursery.  I think I said this in my last post, but I definitely wanted to use the name Grayson.  I loved it from the moment I heard it!  Damon needed a little convincing, but as we talked it over, we decided it was the perfect name!  We decided on Scott as his middle name after my dad.  We had them over and told him what we had decided.  He cried (I told you, a lot of girls, he is in touch with his emotional side!)... and was so honored.  I couldn't think of anyone else that I would rather my son be named after.  We began to pray for Grayson Scott by name and that he would live up to the legacy of my dad's name... That he would be a man after God, obedient to what God called him to, someone who loves his wife and family well.  We began to dream about what his life would look like.

Since about April, I had been reading the book "Anything" by Jennie Allen.  It begs the question, "Would you really give God anything?"  As I read, I felt challenged to offer God everything I had.  I began by giving Him my house...then my time...then my finances...then my marriage...then my husband...then Collins... and then Grayson.  I knew that all of these things ultimately belonged to Him anyways, so, in my mind, I was giving Him what was rightfully His.  However, it was hardest for me to give Him Grayson.  I hadn't even met Grayson yet, other than the kicks in my belly... I think because of our scare in the beginning, I was always worried that someday, I would find out he wasn't there... and I was scared.  But, reluctantly, I gave God Grayson.  I prayed that He would give me the honor and privilege of being his mommy, but wanted whatever God's plan was for my life and Grayson's life.

In my heart, I think I always knew that God was going to take Grayson home before I was ready.  I was never truly confident with this pregnancy.  I was hesitant to share we were expecting him, I was hesitant to share that he was a boy, I was hesitant to buy his bedding, buy his little monkeys... I couldn't explain why and didn't share these thoughts with anyone.

And when my friend, Joanna, lost her little girl Meryn on May 8 at 23 weeks gestation, something about it resonated so deeply in my heart. I had no idea why... well, actually, I think I did, but didn't want to give way to my biggest fear.  I kept thinking about how I would respond if that happened to Grayson in a couple weeks.  I was just a couple weeks behind her in my pregnancy.  I began to pray, quietly, that I would honor God, no matter what happened...

The week of Grayson's birth, I felt great!  Other than a few contractions early in the week, due to a UTI (totally common during pregnancy), which I was on medicine for, nothing was out of the ordinary.  I was told by a doctor that feeling a couple contractions while having a UTI was normal, but keep an eye on it.  I was diagnosed with that on Friday and by Monday, symptons sub-sided and I felt totally normal again!  On Thursday night, I went to bed about midnight and felt great.  However, at about 1:45am, I woke up and didn't feel good at all...  I thought I was going to get sick.  I felt my belly get tight, but again, thought that was fairly normal as I thought I was going to puke.  I got up and went to the bathroom, got a glass of water and laid back down, trying to go back to sleep. I also said a little prayer that if this was something I needed to get checked out for, that God would make it really obvious.  Well, by 2:00am, I was in some pretty good pain and felt like I was contracting.  I woke Damon up and told him that we needed to go to the hospital to stop these contractions. (I had to do this 3 times with Collins, so this wasn't abnormal).  I even changed into jeans and a t-shirt to head out.  He asked me if I could drive myself, and at the time, I probably could have, but something inside me said "no, I think you better go with me". So we called my sister, who lives 3 minutes away to come and stay with Collins the rest of the night, anticipating that we would be back in a couple hours.  By the time we reached the hospital at 2:30, I was in the most intense pain of my life! I was sweating bullets and couldn't hardly stand anymore.  I literally felt like my whole insides were going to explode.  Mind you, I got to about a 9.5 with Collins before I got an epidural so had experienced pretty good labor, but this was not your normal labor pains.

As they admitted me in, a nurse checked me and said, "I want another nurse to double-check and see if she feels what I think I felt."  I knew that wasn't a good sign, but was in too much pain to process much of anything.  The other nurse checked and said "you are already fully dilated... 10cm... we need to get you to a labor and delivery room, but I am not doing anything else until we talk to Dr. Sellers because your water hasn't broken."  The nurse tells Damon that it looks like I may have to deliver.  Damon immediately calls the rest of my family.  They get me to the delivery room and bring in the perinatologist (high risk, baby doc) to do an ultrasound.  They find Grayson who is kicking away and has a strong heartbeat, but he is way low.  Just an FYI, most of this next part was retold to me because I was so out of it, at first because of the pain, then because I had 3 doses of stadol... at about 3:30am, Dr. Sellers comes in, with tears in his eyes and tells us what is happening.  For some reason, my cervix completely dilated, but I haven't had enough contractions to actually deliver Grayson.  However, his sack had already fallen part way through.  Now normally, they would try to get it to go back in, but Grayson got his feet stuck down in the part that had fallen through with his umbilical cord wrapped around his little legs.  If they were to try and push it back up, it would have cut off all circulation to the umbilical cord, killing Grayson.  So, I was told that I would have to deliver my baby boy and that he was too little to survive.  I asked them to please try and push him back up anyways and he said that he would if he could, but there was no chance of Grayson surviving either way.  As a mom, this was the hardest thing for me to hear... afterall, he was still alive.  I could feel him moving this whole time.  Dr. Sellers cried the whole time... what a blessing he was as a doctor.  What doctor cries with you, holds the hands of your family and prays with you?!  God couldn't have put a better man in this room.  Again, God's goodness showing through.  I was told that I would have to spend the next several hours in labor, they were going to give me pitocin to make me contract because I wasn't having enough contractions.  I still, at this point, never cried.  I told you, I was completely out of it and in way too much physical pain to process anything.  I fell asleep as they gave me the epidural and when I woke up, it all came to a halt and I lost it.  I cried harder than I ever have in my life.  Those moments, where it all sank in... I knew I was going to lose my baby boy.  I knew that Jesus was going to be holding him before I ever would.  And those moments, they hurt, they sting like nothing has ever stung before.  There was a hole that was formed in my heart then, that will never truly be filled this side of heaven.  At about 9:30am, I felt the need to push.  Where you get the strength to call in your doctor and tell him you are ready to deliver your baby boy, knowing that the end result was his death, when I could feel him kicking still, I know only comes from strength outside my own.  He came in and asked me if I was ready and I said "ready as I will ever be" with tears in my eyes.  My family, along with Dr. Sellers, tearfully prayed over Damon and I and they quietly left the room, with the exception of my mom and sister, Abby.  Dr. Sellers told me that, Grayson would likely pass away while I delivered him.  I truly believe, at this point, God took over my body and gave me peace to do the best thing I could do for little Grayson and pushed and at 9:44am, he was born. It was a moment that I will never ever forget.  I looked at him with tears in my eyes and smiled.  And said "I am so jealous of Jesus right now because He is getting to hold my baby boy."

The next several hours were spent holding Grayson, taking pictures, putting his footprints on everything we could find, grieving, questioning and praising God.  There is a part of me that wishes you all could have been there and seen him.  You CANNOT deny God when you saw his little face.. his fingernails... You CANNOT.  It is impossible.

As I went to go pick up the book I had been reading, there was a part of me that wanted to throw it back down and never pick it up again.  Jesus asked me if I was willing to give Him anything and I said yes.  He took me up on it.  Would I do it all over again?  Yes.  Jesus, you can have anything!!

I could not imagine a little over a month ago how my life would change, but I would not change it for one second.  Do I long to hold him again?  Absolutely!  Will I hold him again? Absolutely!!  And until then, my Jesus is holding him safe and sound.  And little Grayson will always be a part of our lives.  He has changed my life.  He has changed how I view Christ, how I view Jesus and His death on the cross, he has changed how I view my kiddos, he has changed how I love my family, he has changed how I worship, he has changed everything... And I wouldn't change anything.  Jesus died for me.  God WILLINGLY gave up His ONLY son to die for me.  That has taken on a WHOLE new meaning through losing Grayson.  I wouldn't say that I was willing to give up Grayson and it is the hardest thing I have ever done, letting him go.  God has been so faithful.  He is soo good to me and I am blessed beyond imagination to be called "Grayson's mommy". 

Grayson Scott Woodward, I love you and miss you terribly.  You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. You truly have lived up to the middle name given to you.  You were obedient to Jesus and I know you heard, “Well, done” when you saw Jesus!!  Thank you for changing my life!

Pregnancy Update and Gender Reveal

What a LONG weekend!!  And the week catching up has felt just as busy!  We had my sister's lingerie shower at my house on Friday night and then left on Saturday to go to Memphis and celebrate the Bachelorette party overnight there.  Let me just tell you, I stayed out until 1:00am... a FEAT for me... especially being 17 weeks pregnant!!  And pregnant on Beale Street... bahaha.... It was quite the night.  I think I may have been one of the FEW sober people there!! :)  It was a blast though and so glad that I got to celebrate my sister's last couple weekends of being single!  We returned late Sunday afternoon and I was definitely pretty worthless the rest of the night... as well as the following day!! My hubby is the most supportive hubby I could ask for.  He not only took care of Collins all weekend by himself, but had the floors cleaned and house picked up when I got home!  What a blessing!!! I wouldn't trade him for the world!!!  Ironically, I didn't take any pictures with Abby while we were in Memphis, but here is one of my other sis and I! :)

I can't believe that we are already almost 18 weeks along!!  This pregnancy is FLYING by!! I am still feeling great, which is amazing!! I mean, don't get me wrong, I definitely have my days that are more rough than others, but I am chasing around a VERY active 15 month old... Let me just tell you, if you haven't met Collins, that she might be the MOST ACTIVE 15 month old I have EVER met!!  She is like a mini version of her daddy...  They both could go go go all the time and the more people involved, the better.  I mean, she literally only sits when she is going down for a nap or bedtime... The rest of the time, she may sit, but she gets up about 3 seconds later!  Here is a recent picture of the little goober... What a ham!

We went to the doc on Tuesday morning and found out what we were having.  But most importantly, found out the baby is healthy and strong and perfectly on schedule!  I am measuring 2 days ahead of schedule, which is PERFECT!!  :)

I guess we can get to what you guys are all checking this blog for anyways... the gender reveal... I apologize for the delay, but we wanted to let our families know first and also reveal the name to them before we let everyone else in on the fun news!! :)

So here it goes... Here is Collins waiting at the doctor's office to find out if she is having a little brother or sister!! :) She was pretty excited either way!!  And so were we!!!

I made a box... see below... and it was filled with either blue or pink balloons!!

And then we videoed away as the family watched... Sorry about the movement in the video... I think my sister was a little excited to find out... and she gets a little wild moving around!! :)  Don't cheat by scrolling down... the video is WAY more fun!! :)

So... those balloons were BLUE!!! It's a BOY!!!!!!  Collins will have a little brother come October!!!

His name will be Grayson Scott Woodward. We just loved the name Grayson!  So different, but strong.  We knew we wanted his middle name to be a family name... So, Scott is after my dad.  When we thought about qualities that we would like for our son to have, we thought about many qualities that my dad has shown us.  I hope that our son can be half the man my dad is... That would mean he is a REALLY good man.. one who loves Christ, serves his family above all else, works hard and loves his wife more than anything.

We are so blessed... I can't even begin to imagine the craziness that my life will take on in October, but I couldn't be more excited.  God has given us the privilege of being parents to TWO KIDDOS!!  Unbelievable... Thank you, Jesus!!

New Happenings

So I may not be very good at this blogging thing... Actually, that shouldn't say may... as I am just flat at NOT good at it!!  I just find myself sooo busy these days... I have every intention of blogging and then I get to the end of the day and haven't done it...

We celebrated Collins' first birthday 2 months ago, which is so hard to believe!!  She is truly the delight of our lives!  She is WILD and is ALL Damon.  I mean, Damon goes and goes and goes... And Collins goes and goes and goes... Makes it a little difficult on Mommy as that is DEFINITELY NOT my personality!!  She is definitely starting to talk more and more... She mainly says animal noises... Kitty, Doggie, Rabbit, Horsey, Monkey, and Lion... She says "mama" "dada" and "papa", but only really when we tell her to.  She signs fore "more" when she wants more food.  And she signs for "all done" when she is done eating.  Other than that, she pretty much yells when she wants something.  Such a loud mouth!  When we say "are you hungry" or "are you thirsty", if she is, she shakes her head yes and then heads to the fridge or her highchair or points to her cup.  Such a smartie!! :)

In January, we found out that Collins is going to be a big sister!!! :)  We are due October 7, 2012!  With a c-section, we are probably looking at the week before that so, late September or early October!  Your next question is probably, "how are you feeling?".  I am feeling really really good!! I feel so blessed.  I was soo soo sick with Collins, throwing up most everyday from 7 weeks until about 16 weeks that I didn't think it was possible to feel good while pregnant.  But so far, I am 15 weeks and I haven't thrown up once!  CAN I JUST SAY THAT AGAIN?!?!?!  I HAVE NOT THROWN UP ONCE!!! Woohoo!!  Still music to my ears!

We find out in less than two weeks if Collins will have a little brother or little sister and can't wait!!! :)

We also just got back from a MUCH needed vacation to Hawaii!!! We went with all of Damon's family and pretty much spent every spare moment of our time on the beach!! ALL 9 DAYS!  (Ok, well, we didn't go the day we got there, and then one day that was a little chilly...)  It was BEAUTIFUL and we had a great time catching up with Damon's whole family and spending some sweet time with them!  It had been a year since we had seen them!  Crazy!!  We always hit the beach early, as Collins never fully adjusted to the time change and we were up by 6:00 most every morning.  So we usually were at the beach by 8:00am or so!  Stayed until 1:00-2:00... We just took her pack n play down there and let her nap on the beach in the shade... no better way to nap if you ask me!!  Then we would do a little shopping, walking around, hanging out in the condo with the... and just a little EATING!! Yummy... nothing better than fresh seafood... Don't worry, I only ate the stuff on the "ok to eat while pregnant list"! ;)

 My sister's wedding is just over three weeks away!! I can't believe that!! We are in full swing over here as we finalize details!! :) Speaking of which... some details call that I have to be working on... I will write more later...

Lindsey

Confessions of a Mom

1. I don't know everything... I know, I know, hard to believe!!
2. I sometimes get frustrated with Collins when she can't tell me what she wants!
3. I try to be the best mom I can be, but I seem to fail a lot. I know this is just the beginning and that is a little scary.
4. Most days, I would rather spend my extra $ (what little I have) on Collins instead of me!
5. I looked at her newborn clothes today and almost cried because they were so little!
6. Sometimes, I will let Collins scream in her room when I know she doesn't really need anything!
7. I think my baby is the cutest baby EVER on the planet!
8. I have the best sleeping baby ever! Seriously she sleeps 8-9 hours! I prayed many many times for this as, selfishly, I wasn't ready to give up my sleep!
9. Some days, all I do is play with and watch Collins... Nothing productive!
10. I love showing her off! So if you haven't met her yet, please stop by!!

L.A. and the Following Weeks

Well, hello again!  Man oh man!  I know, I know.  I am a part-time stay at home mom and STILL can't manage to update nearly as much as I would like! I will strive to get better, but no promises!

Back when Collins was 6 weeks old (already 6 weeks ago), Damon and I braved it and took Collins on a flight to visit her Great Grandpa for his 90th Birthday! He had NO idea that we were coming and it was must precious when we showed up!  He just kept saying, "Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness! What a surprise!!"  Mind you, Papa is a sweet Spanish man and has a little bit of an accent-- so it is the BEST! :)  It was so special that Papa got to meet his great granddaughter!! Not too many people to get to experience that with a 90 year old!! :)  (And he looks GREAT, don't you think?!)

Damon's mom and sister also came, so she was able to meet her grandma Teri and Auntie Erin! It was so fun to see them meet Collins! I so long for a day when we can just pick up and go and visit-- and not think twice about the money that it will cost to get there.  Not sure that those days will ever come, but maybe we will be able to better save so that we can do it more often!

She was also able to meet the extended family-- aunts and uncles on both Damon's mom and dad's sides!  It was so great!!!

The plane rides went really well!  I mean, she just slept for the most part.  She was very happy and everyone LOVED her!


After that week, we were literally home for 1 full day and then Damon's dad and step mom and sisters came to Little Rock!  They were so excited to meet Collins for the first time! Needless to say, there was no lack of Collins being loved on!!  I don't think she was set down too often!  And I was so glad to have the additional help!! :)  We just wish that his whole family would move closer so that we could see them more often!  We are in constant prayer that someday those paths will cross again and we may live in the same state.

These couple weeks there were lots of firsts for Collins!

First Plane Ride

First In and Out Burger

First Chipotle experience

First Holds by Grandparents and Aunties

First Park Experience
(sorry, just a picture of dad and grandpa here)

 First Horse Races

And I am sure there are many, many more!  Ok, well, that is a large post... I just needed to tell you all about those events... I promise, I am going to get MUCH better at posting regularly... so you can see a little more into my life as a mom! :)