Recently, I was talking to a friend about our daughter's name, Kinley Pearl and where we got it from.
As I shared in the last post, we loved the name Kinley and had it picked out awhile ago (it was our girl choice before we knew Grayson was a boy). Kinley means "fair warrior". A warrior is someone who is trained in combat or warfare. I love this in light of all we have been through. I feel like she is being my warrior. She is fighting for me... fighting for my hope. She is a constant reminder to me of the battles we face every day in trusting Christ. Bottom line, we believe in an invisible God. And that never becomes more apparent than when you have been through tragedy. You are having to trust in someone you cannot see... and that, in and of itself is a major battle. Fortunately, God is gracious enough to allow people to show His love and grace in tangible ways. The rest of these 5 months are going to be a battle, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. In a lot of ways, I feel like I am fighting everyday. Fighting fear of losing and burying another baby. Fighting sadness. Fighting the sin in my heart that causes me to not fully trust Christ with this little life. Fighting my brain as I have started feeling her kick and then don't feel her for awhile... and fighting the worry that comes with it. Fight, fight, fight. I am exhausted, but Kinley is a warrior. And the only person she is able to learn this from is Jesus... who is teaching her exactly how to fight... and it is unadulterated and perfect. She is helping me fight every day.
And Pearl is after my sweet grandma. I'll have you know that when I called and told my grandma we were naming our little girl after her, her immediate response was, (in her Minnesotan accent) "Oh, honey, are you sure you want to do that?". I immediately responded with a "yes", but her response just made me giggle. She really can't believe that anyone would want to name their kids after her... such grace and humility. We could ALL learn from her!
A couple days after I shared this information with my friend, she sent me text asking me if I remembered what we learned in school about where a pearl comes from... and went on to explain. Now, this came back to me as she was telling me, but I hadn't thought about it AT ALL with picking out the name. So a pearl is created because of an injury. It is created when a foreign object like dirt gets into the shell of an oyster by mistake. This causes the oyster to be irritated. In order to protect itself, it covers the intruding object with a mineral known as nacre. It continues to do this for several layers over several months and years, eventually forming a pearl. So you see, a pearl is something beautiful that is created from an injury. But it takes time for this healing to take place and for beauty to be the result. Jesus is the nacre... and He continues to cover this injury and hurt over and over again. I think it is pretty cool that God gave us this name (a couple years ago) and reserved it specifically for this little girl. And He gave us this name without us even thinking about the physical process it takes for a pearl to be created. Because Kinley will be just that... our pearl. Our something beautiful that has come out of an injury and something that hurts so much.
Her name gives me hope, gives me joy and gives me peace. All because of the meanings associated with her name... meanings I never even considered when we picked her name. I mean, really, how cool is our God? That He allowed this name to be for this child? Only Him.