My dear sweet Grayson-
As I have prepared for your little sister, Kinley, to
arrive, I want you to know that I think
of you constantly. I am preparing
another room for another little girl, when I thought the next room I would be
preparing would be yours. I had your
bedding picked out and everything- little skyscrapers that reminded me of where
your daddy and I met, in New York City. I
dreamed of putting your name on the wall.
I never dreamed that so quickly, that name would be replaced with the
initials of another sweet girl’s. Little
did I know, that God was preparing the perfect room for you, with Him. While I am excited and over-joyed that God
choose me to be a mommy again, and to a precious sweet girl, I find myself
missing you terribly. I feel her move and dream of the times when I felt you
doing sommersaults- even though I never even knew you this long. I so wish that you were here to watch out for
your sisters. Instead, I trust that you
are watching out for them from up above.
I know you are going to be the best big brother from up there.
Did you know that your little sister is due just the week
before your first birthday and glory day?
When we asked God to redeem May and the sadness we had about the month
and having to let you go, we never dreamed that redemption would look like
this. We never thought that we would be
blessed with another baby so quickly.
Somehow, I have a feeling you put in a good word for us! J And we couldn’t be more excited. I do know that week is going to be terribly
emotional. I hope you know that in being
so happy and excited about your little sister, we will still be missing you
with every breath of our beings. She
does not replace you sweet boy. She just
adds to your legacy here. I can’t wait
to one day tell her about you!
Life keeps going down here, but there isn’t a day that goes
by that I don’t think of you. I see your
little lovies, Manny the monkey, and I want to hear you rattle them. Your big sister inherited one (we thought you
would like that), but every time we here it rattle, we are reminded of
you. Collins knows all about you. And even asks about you from
time-to-time. She points to our tattoos
often and asks “Is that Grayson”? And
sometimes, I think you show up here because she will point to random little boy
things we have and say “That’s Grayson’s.”
And it would have been and should have been. Just know that your big sister misses you
too.
It’s late and I need to get to sleep and rest my swollen
feet, but I just had to write you and tell you “hi” and that I was thinking about
you. You are and will forever be my
special boy. You are not forgotten. You have a very special place in our family. I hope you know that and feel that, even in
heaven. Give Jesus a high five from us
and tell Him that we are sure trying to do a good job of sharing His love
through your story. I hope we are
making you both proud. I love you more
than you will ever know.
Mommy